Reality is a state of mind.

Isnt it?

We all have the option of whether to accept it or not. We can (as John Knowles' Finny in a Separate Peace did) create a world of our own in our mind by not believing something is truly happening and make up a story to go with it. Finny, if you havent read the book, is hurt and can not participate in the on going World War I (forgive me if its WWII). After his accident (which you must read and learn about) makes up a new world in his head and makes himself believe there is no war and that its a governmental scam. No one knows he wants to participate in the war untill the end where he admits to Gene (the narrator who portrays Knowles himself) and himself that he made everything up because he didnt want to believe he couldnt participate.

So the decision, all in all, is whether to face reality and face pain or close the door, build a wall and live in a false dream world all of your life being an ignorant human being. Both have their ups and downs.

From a personal view: Face it. In the long run its worth it.

The Hunt for the Heart of Hayden Tyme Ch2

SilasSnow

5 days later

My whole world was spinning out of control. I just simply couldn’t take it anymore. My best friend was killed. Next to me, in a car crash and I just sat there and watched him die. I couldn’t do anything. At least I thought I couldn’t do anything. I was in the hospital for 3 days. Him, only one then pronounced dead. I don’t want to know how he died, what happened inside him. I had his blood on my hand. Now, standing in my bathroom, I have my own. It’s slowly falling down my wrist, my palm, and down my fingers to the floor. I like watching it fall. It’s like watching a water fall, like all my pain is flowing out. I look at my bloody swiss army knife in my other hand. I cut. I started an addiction. I slowly begin to clean the knife, close it and slip it back into my pocket. I wipe my now bloody wrist, roll my sleeve down and walk out. No one will ever know. It will be our little secret. Me and my knife have our own little secret.

I sulk to my cave. Aka my room, but don’t tell my room that, it likes to be known as my cave. I sit on my bed, open my laptop and check tumblr. I have 12 massages that I don’t feel like dealing with right now. I click messages and scroll down. I delete the ones that say “you’re so hot” and other various things like that. I delete the ones that say “where are you” because I plan on posting on where I was. Then I answer some.

EnglishNerdx: If you were to loose someone close right now what would your last words to them be? It depends on who I am loosing.

DaisyLuvsChew: I MISS YOU BABY!! Please don’t call me that. I miss Tumblr as well.

TymeStartsNow: Are you okay? You haven’t posted in 5 days. Daisy told me you post everyday…Well if you’re not im here.

Okay so I don’t know how to answer this TymeStartsNow person. But I guess I should. I type a brief response. ‘Thankyou.’ Then I proceeded to telling the anons all about what happened. In detail of course then I click post.

Wait I shouldn’t have done that….

The Hunt for the Heart of Hayden Tyme

SilasSnow

Tumblr has become my life. You know…That stupid blog site that everyone uses now. I’m addicted. I updated every day rebloged pictures and videos I thought were funny and answered things left in my ask box. New follower! Cool! I’m up to 37 now. TymeStartsNow started following you! Interesting way of spelling the word ‘time’ this person had. I checked the 3 messages in my ask box.

Anonymous: I love you!!! Youre so hot!! Marry me!? ….Nope.

DaisyLuvzChew: Youre perfect. I am not. I promise you I am not.

TymeStartsNow: Hey: ) Hello, Thanks for the follow!

So this TymeStartsNow person seemed normal by her post. I decided to follow back. No harm in that right?

HaydenTyme

My friend Daisy actually got me to make a Tumblr account. I followed whoever she followed. SnowStormSilas started following you! Booyah! My first follower! Oh he replied to my post in his ask box. “Hello, Thanks for the follow!” I decided to go back and reply.

SilasSnow

Messages (1). I do love when people post in my ask box. I get some crazy shit sometimes.

TymeStartsNow: Not a problem SnowStormSilas! ;D You’re the first normal person to post in my ask box! You win…a smiley face! : D

Finally someone normal who’s following me that doesn’t automatically say how “pretty” or “delicious” I am. I mean really ladies. I’m not pretty, or delicious. Okay well that maybe a lie. Both parts are lied to be exact! I’m pretty damn delicious! And I do have a lot of normal followers. Tumblr happens to be my escape from everything. A place to meet (strange) new people and a place to vent and Tumblr certainly beats twitter and facebook any day.

Loving The Distance- A Nadam Fanfiction

So spending christmas break in Toronto might not have been the best idea. Lena's dad owns a huge estate and apparently was some big shot in the tv industry. I dont even know. But anyway her uncle was having the biggest new years eve party. I hate partys so what did i do? wore jeans and an old baggy 'Train' concert tee. Well I tried to at least. When Lena saw me things sadly changed. She forced me into a royal blue sqeuined short cocktail tress with a tiny bow in the front and silver strappy heals. Luckily for my sake the heals werent too high. Le herself was wearing a lime green dress, even shorter then mine, with a one shoulder neckline. Her long black hair was pulled up nicely except for her short side bangs. I straightened mine so it was pin straight. I left it down and pulled my side bangs up with a black butterfly clip and made that stupid little poof. The only jewlery i had on was the key necklace my mom bought me 3 years ago. By now lena was already downstairs dancing to the thumping music. I was still in my room laying lazily on the huge circular bed staring out the skylight above my head looking out at the stars. In about 3 hours it would be 2011. Thank god. I get a text from Lena.

Dude where are you? Ive been looking everywhere for you. Degrassi cast is here!

-Lena

Cool Le.

-Nikkie

You love them. Comeon Nikkie have some fun. It's New Years Eve.

-Lena

Fine. Only for you.

-Nikkie

I keep my Iphone glued to my hand as I walk downstairs. I see lena waiting for me at the bottom. She automatically pulls me into the crowd. I cant help but move my hips to 'We Are Who We Are' by Ke$ha.

By the end of the song I lost Lena and was dancing alone. I retreated to my party-hating self, grabed a glass of champagne and stood againt the wall in the corner. I took a sip of the champagne when a familiar looking guy leaned against the wall next to me. "Hey" He said. His voice sent my heart racing.

"Hey." I replied simply.

"What's a gorgeous girl like you doing in the corner during the hottest party of the year?" He asked smiling. I started to blush ang looked at my feet, smiling as well.

"I'm not really a party person. But living here for the time being i kind of have to be here." I sad looking back up at him.

"Ah. You're carsons daughter then." He replied.

"Nope. I'm Nicole. Lena, my best friend, is his daughter. She happens to be in the center of the crowd dancing her night away."

"Well Nicole. I'm Adam, and I can honestly say im not into this kind of party either."

"Adam....Adam....Wait..." Now i remember where I've seen him before. "Adam Murciano?! The guy I follow on twitter? The background actor on degrassi?"

"Guilty." He smiles brightly. My phone vibrates. Its a text from lena.

Help. Drunk moron grinding against me....I kinda....never mind just help.

-Lena

"Speaking of Carson Borrelli's daughter...I must go save her." I say starting to walk away. "it was nice talking to you." If he said the same i didnt hear it over the music. I walk to where Lena is and push the bastard off of her. "Want me to call a cab for you drunkie? Or would you rather the police for stagatory rape? Your pick." I nudge lena slightly behind me. Showing that my phone is on the dial pad. He punches me across the face.

"You little fucking bitch. I was having fun and so was she." He screams at me over the music. I taste the blood in my mouth and rub my hurting jaw. Oh he's so dead.

"Because now your not only going to arrested for stagatory rape but also for assultive abuse." I keep my cool. Knowing if i blow up on him he'll hit me again. "Now before I dial the police and not the cab service i suggest you fuck off. " Okay I lost my cool for a second there.

"Whore." He replies.

"Oh damn. That's a new one. Way to be creative. So i'm going to count to 3 and if you dont leave by the time I say three I'll click the call button. And look," I show him my phone, "I dont have the cab service dialed." He squints to see the phone, freaks out and runs away out the door. I erase the polices number and call the cab service. "Hi My names Nicole and a man who has had way to much to drink should be wondering around near stary lane. " I gave a description of the man and hang up. In turn to Lena. "Call me if you need me." I walk to the stairs and when i get to the top i dont go to my room. I sit on the top step unseen from the partiers. I hum along tiredly when 'Marry Me' by Train comes on. I see adam walk up the stairs he sits a tep below me mimicing my posture, which is like basically laying across the whole step. He sits so he can face me and hands me a glass of water and a bag of ice.

"That was pretty cool what you did back there" He says referring to the thing with the drunkie.

"Oh man you saw that?"

"Yeah. You handeled that better then the police could have."

I laugh. "Well I doubt that. Im from New York. With me and Lena...I'm always getting her out of trouble." I rub my jaw wincing from my own touch and put the ice on it. "Thanks for the ice by the way."

"No problem." He says. "Daniel and Luke almost wanted to knock the guy out for that move."

My mouth starts filling with blood again and as I sip the wateri realize my lip is cut open. "Awesome. Real attractive. Excuse me." I stand up. "You probably have better things to do." I head to the bathroom in my room and rinse out the blood in my mouth.

"I dont have better things to do actually." He leans against the bathroom door.

I wash the blood off my chin from the cut on my lip and hold the ice to it. "I was just gonna chill up here untill like 11:30 then go back down to people. If you dont wanna stay up here I could meet you down there." I finally take in what he's wearing. Black dress pants, black shoes, black button down dress shirt and dark blue mettalic tie.

He walks to the desk and grabs the tv remote. "Wanna see what movies are on?"

I smile. He wants to hang out with me. "Yeah sure. You want a soda?"

He smiles back at me. His smile is so amazing. "Sure." I walk to the mini fridge next to the desk as Adam goes to sit on my big circular bed. I forgot my pillow bet was there. Ah whatever. "Aw your pillow pet is so cute!" He says holding it. "I'm guessing you have a thing for ducks?" I toss him a coke and lean back against the pillows next to him.

"What gave it away Adam?" I laugh playing with him.

"Well certainly not the 5 duck stuffed animals," he plays back flipping through channels. "Tianic?" We both open our cans at the same time.

"JINX!" I shout smiling. "Sure. Gotta love DiCaprio."

He laughs at my Jinx. "People still do jinx?"

"Well if I'm people then yes, they do." I smile brighter.

"If there's one thing that I remember from all those tinychats is your smile." He says looking in my eyes. "And your eyes."

I blush moving to sit next to him. "They're hidden behind glasses."

"I can see right through them" He replies.

The moment we lock eyes....I cant help but feel that this feeling is so wrong....but so so right.